


Ghosts of Christmas past

by cherrybby



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Enemies, Holidays, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, but obviously - Freeform, well not enemies per say
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrybby/pseuds/cherrybby
Summary: A holiday Larry fic of two Christmases, one that went horribly wrong and one that might be even worse. Including a coming out and a lovers reunion.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 2





	Ghosts of Christmas past

December 17th, 2020

Harry’s walking home after classes when it starts to snow. It’s surprisingly late for the first snow, but now the white flakes are finally falling, bringing a bit of light into the dark afternoon sky and painting the ground white. He feels giddy but stops himself from actually giggling out loud. He decides to treat himself to a hot chocolate and takes a detour through Washington square park, watching the couples on dates and kids enjoying the snow. It's a bit cold for a detour, his hands already freezing but he almost enjoys it. He grabs onto his cup of hot chocolate tighter and takes a long sip and even puts on his Christmas playlist.

He puts up a valiant effort to ignore the pain this holiday’s looming arrival’s causing and focusing on the joy he feels. Luckily he gets a distraction when his phone buzzes, and he digs his phone out of his pocket to see it’s from his best friend, Niall.

_Takeout tonight? Your choice, I’m just starving and need food asap_

Harry rolls his eyes at his phone and sends a quick reply. He opts for pizza and makes the call to order two pepperonis with extra cheese while he walks.

It doesn’t take him long to reach the apartment he shares with Niall. He takes the elevator to the fifth floor and sees his next-door neighbor, Mrs. Hannigan, trying to get a hold of her cat that had escaped into the corridor. Harry quickly gets a careful hold of the cat and takes her over to her owner.

"There you go", He smiles at Mrs. Hannigan.

Mrs. Hannigan gratefully takes her cat and pinches Harry’s cheek. “Bless you, dear. Your cheeks are so cold, better not get sick!”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine", Harry shakes his head a bit witch a chuckle.

She nods and lets go of his cheek. “Well, thank you for catching my Julie, she ran when I came back from getting the mail.”

Harry wiggles a playful finger at the cat. “You rascal, don’t give Mrs. Hannigan trouble, you hear?”

Mrs. Hannigan laughs and walks over to her front door. “I better get back inside, dear. You stay healthy, alright? Happy holidays”

“You too, and happy holidays”, Harry gives one last smile before turning around to unlock his own front door.

He turns on the lights in their humble apartment. They were lucky to find the place, close to their school and manageable rent. Plus there's no rats or mold, which for a building as old as theirs has to be a miracle. They have their small bedrooms, a living room, bathroom and kitchen. Harry managed to drag a Christmas tree up here with the help of a new Uni friend, Nick, and decorated it with lots of pretty ornaments and fairy lights. He doesn’t even turn on any other lights and just sits down on the couch and admires his work of art while he waits for their dinner to get there.

He’s going through his mail when he hears a ping from his phone. He goes to pick it up from the kitchen counter and sees he’s received an email. When Harry reads who it's from, he has to grip the countertop. His heart drops to his stomach, and his phone nearly drops to the ground. His brain is telling him to delete it and forget he ever saw it, but his thumb works of its own volition when it presses on the notification.

From: **louiswtomlinson**

_Harry, you haven’t been returning any calls or messages. And I don’t know if you’re any more likely to reply to this email but here I am, writing it anyway. I don’t blame you for wanting to get away, I more than understand why you left. What happened was awful and I should've done more to help. Okay I’ll just get to the point. Niall finally told me where you live now. Don’t be mad at the poor bloke, he put up a good fight. I’m gonna be flying to New York on the 21st. The flight should land at JFK around 12.30 pm. If you don’t want to reply I get it. But if you’re there, I’ll know you want to talk. Anyway, I hope you’re okay and I really wish you’d give me a chance to apologize. I miss you, Hazza._

Harry’s vision gets blurry. His hands are shaking and everything he had been trying to block out for nearly a full year was flooding back. The hurt. The love. The confusion and open endings he swore he’d left behind. He feels his stomach turn inside out and in the moment he's actually grateful for his empty stomach. The world around him is spinning. Fairly certain this is the beginnings of a panic attack, he does his best to calm down. He slides along the wall to sit down and tries to remember the breathing exercises. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Then memories of when he learned these breathing exercises came to him, and now tears are flowing full force.

He couldn’t have been sitting there crying for long when Niall opens the apartment door. Harry felt warm arms wrap around him and he leaned his head on Niall’s shoulder. He isn’t sure if it’s the presence of his best friend or just feeling exhausted, but his breathing is slowly returning to normal, and the world is returning to its regular axis. Tears are still flowing and he brings his hand up to his eyes to wipe them.

"What happened?" Niall asked, and Harry simultaneously loves his friend and hates the pity in his voice.

Harry pulls his phone out and shows Niall the email. He takes only a moment to read it and then he’s hugging Harry again.

“Haz, I'm sorry”, Niall apologises, but Harry shakes his head.

“No don’t apologize. I have to face it and face him at some point”, He sighs.

“Yeah, but you’re upset and I still feel bad. But Tommo really wants to see you, you know. He really does care about you.”

Harry closes his eyes and focuses on keeping his breathing steady. He won’t let himself think about Louis missing him, worrying, trying to get in touch.

Niall wiped away the last of his tears, gives him a kiss on the forehead.

Niall gives him a small lopsided smile. “So Lou’s coming over.”

Harry shakes his head. “I have no idea what I’m gonna do. I don’t know if I wanna see him.”

Niall’s mouth forms a pout at the words. “Well, you have a few days to figure things out. You know I’ll be with my family, and you’re still invited of course. But I’m just saying, if he does come, there’s a spare bedroom.”

Harry nods, more so to himself, and Niall helps him up and they move to the couch, right as the doorbell rings. Niall gets up and gets their pizza. He brings the boxes over and they open the TV. They scroll through Netflix for a show to watch and decide on Criminal Minds. They eat and watch it in comfortable silence, only talking to make jokes about the show.

Eventually the pizza runs out and they’ve watched several episodes when Niall pauses the show before the next episode can play. He looks a bit unsure, playing with the label of his beer bottle, and it takes him a moment to speak up.

“Haz, are you ever gonna tell me what actually happened back then?”

Harry takes a swig of his own bottle and looks down at his feet. He probably should explain it to him. If anyone deserves an explanation, it’s Niall. He knows some details, the things Harry had to explain in order to make the other boy understand the urgency to get away.

Niall didn’t ask any questions, understood his friend needed him, and was ready to help like the wonderful friend he is. Harry doesn’t think he can ever thank Niall enough for uprooting his life with him months early to move to New York, where they were set to start Uni. After the first few months, Niall had given up entirely on trying to get any answers and dropped the subject.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut. “Don’t hate me but I don’t think I can yet.”

“It’s okay, I get it. I know it had to be big, and it can’t be easy to talk about so take your time”, Niall squeezes Harry’s shoulder.

“You’re the best mate anyone could ask for, you know that?” Harry grins and Niall pulls him into a hug.

“’Course I know that”, He ruffles Harry’s hair. “So Christmas shopping tomorrow, yeah?”

Harry’s grin fades a bit, but he forces it back onto his lips. “Yeah, ‘course.”

"And Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll tell me if things get bad again? I know I told you he should come here but if you don't think you can handle it it's not worth it", Niall tells him so seriously Harry's almost scared of him.

"I will."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading the first chapter. I'm really sorry it was so short, I promise the next ones will be much longer, this one is more so to set the scene and give some background. Any constructive feedback and kudos are very much appreciated. I'm not going to make promises about an update schedule but I have a pretty good outline of most chapters already. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe x


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